Nothing Can Stop a Man with the Right Mental Attitude

Admiral Jim Stockdale was the highest ranking United States military officer in the "Hanoi Hilton" prisoner-of-war camp during the height of the Vietnam War. While a POW, he was tortured over 20 times during his eight year imprisonment from 1965 to 1973. As you can imagine, during this time Admiral Stockdale was not certain if he would be released and returned to his family. 

His time spent in the prison camp corralling the prisoners' morale is a fascinating story that is illustrated in Jim Collins' book, Good to Great. But what was most interesting to me was Admiral Stockdale's comments on how he survived and why others perished. Here, Collins asked Admiral Stockdale, "Who didn't make it out?" and Admiral Stockdale replied, "Oh, that's easy. The optimists. The 'We're going to be out by Christmas.' And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they'd say, 'We're going to be out by Easter.' And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart."

Admiral Stockdale further states, "This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end- which you can never afford to lose- with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be." So in his case as a POW, "We're not getting out by Christmas; deal with it!"

How often do we set goals that we either abandon and/or are crushed when we do not meet a specific objective? Even the lack of achieving the simplest goals can damage our self confidence. For example, 'By the end of this month, I want to decrease my spending by $100!' But at the end of the month, you find a new set of clothes in your closet and an increase in your credit card bill. 

Or, in another scenario, 'I am going to lose 10 pounds over the next couple of months!' So you head to the grocery store to buy ingredients for some new hip smoothie, but in the next couple of weeks all you notice are empty wine bottles and receipts to meals that you do not want to know the calorie count. We've all be in this position. We've all been optimist. We've all experienced the rush feeling, 'I'm going to drastically change myself for the better.' Problem is, it doesn't work.

The answer to achieving goals is so simple that it can literally be applied to audacious goals such as winning the Hawaii Ironman or to more modest goals such as reducing your monthly budget. The answer- retain faith that you will prevail in the end and you must also confront the most brutal facts of your current reality. Here's a a great example:

Jim Collins' wife, Joanne, began racing marathons and triathlons in the early 1980's. After accumulating experience, she began to feel the momentum of success. So after entering a race full of the best triathletes in the world, and despite being a weak swimmer compared to her competition, she managed to finish the race within the top 10. Now here is a great example of facing her brutal facts- Joanne knew that if she could finish in the top 10 after only training part time then there was a chance she could actually win the Ironman if she trained full time. 

The Ironman is a world championship triathlon that involves 2.4 miles of ocean swimming, 12 miles of cycling, and a brutal 26.2-mile marathon on the hot Kona coast of Hawaii. Indeed, it is a very tenacious goal. But Joanne was confident she could win the Ironman and cognizant of the brutal facts. Here, she would have to quit her job and decline graduate school in order to train full time. After three years of resilience and relentless training, Joanne crossed the 1985 Hawaii Ironman finish line in first place.

The answer to achieving goals is so important that it is worth repeating- retain faith that you will prevail in the end and you must also confront the most brutal facts of your current reality. So, here are two examples of how I retained faith in the end result and faced the brutal facts of my own goals. By focusing on this strategy, I was able to gain acceptance into an MBA program and also get back into physical shape.

• Instead of focusing on losing weight, I focused on becoming healthier. I never once weighed myself. The brutal facts I faced were acknowledging I would have to eat healthier and no matter how tough it would be, I needed to exercise daily. I began to turn the wheel and over time I noticed results.
• Instead of focusing on receiving a certain score, I focused on learning each specific area of the GRE. The brutal fact I faced was that I would not receive a standout score like some of the other students. But I knew that if I focused on my specific weaknesses and corrected the errors, my overall score would increase. In fact, my score went up by 10 points within four weeks.

Also remember, 'Rome was not built in a day.' John Wooden, the long-time winning coach of the UCLA Bruins basketball team, coached the Bruins for 15 years before he won 10 national championships in 12 years. Here's a brilliant TED talk from the man himself. A man that greatly understood the quintessentials to success.