Dyslexia, Cancer and New Year's Resolutions: Creating Your Strength

The United States has the intrepid leader, Abraham Lincoln, the United Kingdom has the bold Winston Churchill, and India has the freedom fighter, Mahatma Gandhi. For Canada, the nation's hero is unknown to many outside of the Canadian border.  He was not a eminent hockey player, a dignified spiritual or political leader, but a cancer-battling, one- legged runner by the name of Terry Fox. 

In the outstanding ESPN 30 for 30 documentary, Into the Wind, the film highlights the tenacious goal of the 21-year old bone cancer survivor, Terry Fox, after his right leg is amputated six inches above the knee. After the removal of Fox's cancerous leg, he recovered in a local children's hospital where many of the young patients did not survive. This dramatic experience had a profound affect on Fox. As an experienced athlete, he decided to shift his new weakness into a strength by fostering a goal to be the first person to run across Canada with only one leg. Here, Fox looked to promote cancer awareness and raise funding for cancer research. It is impossible not to shed a tear while watching the 30 for 30 film. Fox was and continues to be a champion among athletes.

Sadly, Fox was never able to complete his goal. After experiencing brutal weather conditions, constant fatigue (dude was running on one leg!), and self-doubt, he was only able to halfway complete his goal before discovering the cancer had travelled to his lungs, thus ending his courageous journey. Despite not finishing his goal, Fox had a more everlasting effect on his country. Not only has his foundation raised millions of dollars for cancer research, but his tenacity to not give up until he was physically unable to do so had Canadian citizens everywhere finding their own new strengths. Indeed, the country lost a hero, but gained national camaraderie.

Another less known, but not as heroic, individual that has turned his weakness into a strength is David Boies. In Malcolm Gladwell's newest outstanding book, David and Goliath, Gladwell depicts the story of Boies' unlikely success. Readers will first learn that Boies did not begin to read until the third grade! Boies battled with dyslexia and had incredible difficulty finishing his reading assignments. However, Boies lived in a small rural Illinois town where reading was not garnered with utmost importance. In his local community, it was common for classmates to quit school and go to work on the farm.

But in the Boies' household, his mother would often read to him while he laid in his bed. Although he could not read along with her word-for-word, he did establish an uncanny ability to listen very intently. It was not uncommon for Boies to regurgitate every word of a passage directly back to his mother. At this time, Boies did not think too much of his hidden talent, but later it would become a major strength to his profession. In fact, what happens to be a weakness (dyslexia), actually helped create an astounding strength (listening).

During high school, Boies' family moved to Southern California. His grades were unsurprisingly dismal and after graduation, he did not have much ambition. Boies later married, got a job in construction, and was living a modest life. Later he got a job as a bookkeeper, played bridge in the evenings with friends, and could have carried on with this lifestyle, but then his wife became pregnant. After their child was born, his wife pleaded her husband to make a career change. The family would need him to have a more serious-minded career. So Boies did the absolute unthinkable for someone with his weakness, he decided to go to law school.

Law school reading is immensely rigorous and demanding. However, Boies discovered that there were summaries of the major cases that provided the cases' key points. He was so good at finding the key points that he was able to generate outstanding grades and later transfer to Yale Law School. Yes, the same guy that barely survived high school! But analyzing and finding key points in cases were not going to create success for Boies as a corporate attorney. Corporate attorneys analyze thousands of cases. Boies' dyslexia would not allow him to succeed in this field so he decided to take a different, more suitable route, become a trial attorney.

Later, Boies' strong ability to listen meticulously allowed him to become one of the most prominent trial attorneys in the country. Here, Boies is known for his intense and lethal cross examinations. He is known to simplify complex cases to the jury while also causing the person he is cross examining to reveal information that is beneficial for Boies' case. Boies is now a named partner at Boies, Schiller & Flexner LLP. He has argued one of the most important cases in past decade- Hollingsworth v. Schwarzenegger- which involved the California law limiting marriage to a man and woman.

Today is New Year's Eve. Many people will be creating resolutions to accomplish next year. Most popular resolutions are losing weight, saving money, and knocking a bad habit. But maybe a different goal should be created this year. Instead of focusing on the same monotonous goal, we should try to transform our more personal weaknesses into strengths. If you battle with anxiety or depression, embrace Yoga and meditation. If you have bad eating habits, learn to become a great cook. Essentially, you are creating a better you than simply creating a check list. Everyone has weaknesses, but it is those that embrace their weaknesses, exploit them, and turn those weaknesses into strengths that truly gain confidence and maybe change the world- just like Terry Fox.

Nothing Can Stop a Man with the Right Mental Attitude

Admiral Jim Stockdale was the highest ranking United States military officer in the "Hanoi Hilton" prisoner-of-war camp during the height of the Vietnam War. While a POW, he was tortured over 20 times during his eight year imprisonment from 1965 to 1973. As you can imagine, during this time Admiral Stockdale was not certain if he would be released and returned to his family. 

His time spent in the prison camp corralling the prisoners' morale is a fascinating story that is illustrated in Jim Collins' book, Good to Great. But what was most interesting to me was Admiral Stockdale's comments on how he survived and why others perished. Here, Collins asked Admiral Stockdale, "Who didn't make it out?" and Admiral Stockdale replied, "Oh, that's easy. The optimists. The 'We're going to be out by Christmas.' And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they'd say, 'We're going to be out by Easter.' And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart."

Admiral Stockdale further states, "This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end- which you can never afford to lose- with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be." So in his case as a POW, "We're not getting out by Christmas; deal with it!"

How often do we set goals that we either abandon and/or are crushed when we do not meet a specific objective? Even the lack of achieving the simplest goals can damage our self confidence. For example, 'By the end of this month, I want to decrease my spending by $100!' But at the end of the month, you find a new set of clothes in your closet and an increase in your credit card bill. 

Or, in another scenario, 'I am going to lose 10 pounds over the next couple of months!' So you head to the grocery store to buy ingredients for some new hip smoothie, but in the next couple of weeks all you notice are empty wine bottles and receipts to meals that you do not want to know the calorie count. We've all be in this position. We've all been optimist. We've all experienced the rush feeling, 'I'm going to drastically change myself for the better.' Problem is, it doesn't work.

The answer to achieving goals is so simple that it can literally be applied to audacious goals such as winning the Hawaii Ironman or to more modest goals such as reducing your monthly budget. The answer- retain faith that you will prevail in the end and you must also confront the most brutal facts of your current reality. Here's a a great example:

Jim Collins' wife, Joanne, began racing marathons and triathlons in the early 1980's. After accumulating experience, she began to feel the momentum of success. So after entering a race full of the best triathletes in the world, and despite being a weak swimmer compared to her competition, she managed to finish the race within the top 10. Now here is a great example of facing her brutal facts- Joanne knew that if she could finish in the top 10 after only training part time then there was a chance she could actually win the Ironman if she trained full time. 

The Ironman is a world championship triathlon that involves 2.4 miles of ocean swimming, 12 miles of cycling, and a brutal 26.2-mile marathon on the hot Kona coast of Hawaii. Indeed, it is a very tenacious goal. But Joanne was confident she could win the Ironman and cognizant of the brutal facts. Here, she would have to quit her job and decline graduate school in order to train full time. After three years of resilience and relentless training, Joanne crossed the 1985 Hawaii Ironman finish line in first place.

The answer to achieving goals is so important that it is worth repeating- retain faith that you will prevail in the end and you must also confront the most brutal facts of your current reality. So, here are two examples of how I retained faith in the end result and faced the brutal facts of my own goals. By focusing on this strategy, I was able to gain acceptance into an MBA program and also get back into physical shape.

• Instead of focusing on losing weight, I focused on becoming healthier. I never once weighed myself. The brutal facts I faced were acknowledging I would have to eat healthier and no matter how tough it would be, I needed to exercise daily. I began to turn the wheel and over time I noticed results.
• Instead of focusing on receiving a certain score, I focused on learning each specific area of the GRE. The brutal fact I faced was that I would not receive a standout score like some of the other students. But I knew that if I focused on my specific weaknesses and corrected the errors, my overall score would increase. In fact, my score went up by 10 points within four weeks.

Also remember, 'Rome was not built in a day.' John Wooden, the long-time winning coach of the UCLA Bruins basketball team, coached the Bruins for 15 years before he won 10 national championships in 12 years. Here's a brilliant TED talk from the man himself. A man that greatly understood the quintessentials to success. 

Two Weeks in Hell

6:50 a.m. First alarm goes off. Screw it, I showered last night and I shaved yesterday. Hit the snooze button.

 7:20 a.m. Second alarm goes off. Do I want to get up and cook breakfast or do I want to savor this glorious moment in my bed? Hit the snooze button.

 7:50 a.m. Third alarm goes off. I have to leave for work within 40 minutes. Plenty of time to get ready. Hit the snooze button.

 8:20 a.m. Fourth alarm goes off. I have to be ready for work in 10 minutes, but this isn't my first rodeo. I brush my teeth while applying deodorant, quick face wash, splash on some Burberry cologne and out of the door by 8:30 a.m. 

I have tried numerous times to become a morning person but failed. Ironically, I feel at my best when I wake up early, workout, cook breakfast and actually put an effort into what I'll wear for the day. I've read, "How to Make Yourself A Morning Person," and "Why Morning People Rule the World," and "What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast," and on, and on, and on. But I still hit that snooze button.

But this week, I've discovered two important workings. First is Marcus Aurelius' The Emperor's Handbook. This book is a new translation of Aurelius' Meditations. By far the best book I have ever read and that's a profound statement. I plan to apply this book not only in my personal life, but also in my career, and without a doubt, I will become a better person. Second, I discovered Two Weeks in Hell, a Discovery series that documents the grueling process to become a U.S. Army Green Beret. Never again will I complain about a workout.

So as I'm nonchalantly drinking a nightcap bourbon drink, I come across Two Weeks in Hell on Netflix. Intrigued, I started the series and was immediately captivated. Forget Marshawn Lynch, these dudes are true beast modes. Within an hour of arriving at camp, the candidates are taken to a sand pit. Anyone who has ever conditioned for a sport knows anytime someone mentions "sand pit," your stomach begins to turn. Precisely why one of the instructors outwardly demanded, "No one throws up in the sandpit! Understood?" Within the hour, candidates were voluntarily withdrawing from the program, throwing up, and becoming so delirious one candidate was asked by a medic, "Do you know where you are?" and the candidate dazedly responded, "Hash browns." Yes, he was that deranged.

 Anyways, back to my comfy couch where my legs are propped up, drinking my delicious bourbon drink, while watching these brave men pour their hearts and souls into a program that has an over 60 percent failure rate. I'm watching these men suffer in order to be a part of a cause he truly believed in. These men put everything on the line to become part of an elite group of soldiers that are (to put bluntly) paid crap and are constantly fighting in enemy territory so that I can casually sip my bourbon and watch on as if I am Commodus himself. Indeed, I was abashedly entertained.

 Then yesterday I read this quote from The Emperor's Handbook. "In the morning, when you can't get out of bed, tell yourself: "I'm getting up to do the work only a man can do. How can I possibly hesitate or complain when I'm about to accomplish the task for which I was born? Was I made for lying warm in bed under a pile of blankets?

 But I enjoy it here.

 Was it for enjoyment you were born? Are you designed to act or to be acted upon? Look at the plants, sparrows, ants, spiders and bees, all busy at their work, the work of welding the world. Why should you hesitate to do your part, the part of a man, by obeying the law of your own nature?"

It should be reiterated again and again that we are here for a purpose. We were not placed on this earth to be lethargic. Yes, of course, relaxation is needed. In fact, it is just as important as working diligently. However, as Marcus Aurelius said, "Like eating and drinking, rest has it's natural limits." I was not born to lie in a bed. It's time to get up. 

Create Your Perfect Shave

Last week I had to make an important decision. I had to decide between one of two options. First, I could walk down to the local Walgreens and purchase four cartridges for roughly $21. Or, I could join Dollar Shave Club and subscribe monthly for $6 and receive four cartridges each month. The better option to choose may appear conspicuous and facile, but my ability to make a decision was much more involved.

 See, if I apply the Diffusion of Innovation Theory, I am majority of the time associated between an Early Adopter and a Early Majority. I am never the Innovator. For example, I would never be able to convince myself to stand in line for six hours for a smart phone.  So when I noticed the Dollar Shave Club ads on my Facebook news feed, I was hesitant to try it out. Sure I liked the company's name, which is quick, concise, tells a story on its own, but I had to do some more research.

So I visited the company's site where I enjoyed the opening video. Very unique and funny.  I was also drawn to the simplicity of it's website. The navigation to find answers and learn about the business is easy, which correlates well with the overall brand because this is not a complicated business so describing how it works should not be either. 

Finally, it came down to reviews. I do not know anyone else that participates with Dollar Shave Club so this was the more important factor for me. I had questions like, "Do the blades suck?" or "How long does it take to receive the blades?" Both of these answers were easy to find.

Well, today I received my first Dollar Shave Club package and the shave I had today was great. Very smooth with no irritation. Shaving has an idiosyncratic art to it. It is much more than using Barbasol and a Bic Razor.  The way a man takes care of his face correlates with discipline and class. This is one reason why the military requires cadets to shave daily. So do yourself a favor and take shaving a little more seriously. Find your own unique method and while doing so save yourself money by joining Dollar Shave Club. I've included my own arrangement below if you need some recommendations. Happy Shaving!

Shaving on a Budget

I love Art of Shaving, but unfortunately it's prices are a little high for me at the moment. So for those on a budget like myself, these options are relatively inexpensive.

Pre-Shave: I like to use Neutrogena Deep Clean Gentle Scrub. The microbeads exfoliate the skin to help remove dead skin and it also helps raise your facial hair. For those that live in dry environments, I would definitely recommend also purchasing face lotion since the micro scrub tends to dry out your face. 

Blade: As stated prior, at Dollar Shave Club I purchase the $6 option. The blade works great and is also adjustable so it works well with shaving around the neck and jaw-line.

Shaving Cream: Throw out your Barbasol or at least keep it so you can shave the back of your neck inbetween haircuts.  Regardless, do not use it on your face because you are missing out on some better products. Dollar Shave Club offers shaving butter, which I plan to try next month, but currently I am using Cremo Cream and this stuff works great. Highly recommend it!

Post Shave: I apply two applications after I shave. First, I apply Neutrogena Men Razor Defense Post Shave Lotion. Incredibly long name for such a simple product. Basically it fights razor burn and ingrown hairs. Smells nice too. Next, I apply Neutrogena Men Sensitive Skin Moisturizer. Unfortunately my father was diagnosed with skin cancer, but one blessing in disguise from his diagnosis is I've learned the importance of taking care of your skin. This moisturizer has SPF 30. 

 

 

 

 

Be Like McQueen

At only 5'9, the legendary actor, Steve McQueen, presented himself as if he stood as a giant among men. He often played tough, seductive, and determined characters. His portrayal as Frank Bullitt in the self-titled film, Bullitt, is heralded as one of the best action films of all time with a 97 percent rating from the film critic site, Rotten Tomatoes.

One of my personal favorite Steve McQueen films is The Thomas Crown Affair. The Pierce Brosnan 1999 version is an embarrassment compared to McQueen's classic film. A guy cannot finish the film without wanting to be McQueen. The Schweizer SGS sailplane, Polo playing, Persol sunglasses, and the awesome dune buggy McQueen drove while smoking a cigar made him out to be the most iconic gentleman. 

 In today's common society, it can be argued the craft of being a gentleman has been lost and only the true gentleman can be found at the high ranks of society. But this is untrue and an unfortunate contention. You do not have to be wealthy to be a gentleman. Honestly, the etiquette of being a gentleman is fairly easy to master. The website, AskMen, provides easy steps to practicing the true marks of a gentleman.

Another great website is The Art of Manliness . What appears to be a parody site happens to provide some insightful tips for the every-day gentleman. In a entertaining delivery, the site provides tips on how to trim a mustache, how to correctly shine your shoes, tie a tie, and even how to shave like your grandpa.

 It should also be noted there is a fine line between being a metro-sexual and a gentleman. Nothing against those that prefer to tweeze their eyebrows, frequent the tanning salon, and shop at Express, but this is not the common practice of a gentleman. Sure a gentleman takes care of his skin by exfoliating before a shave and keeps his nails trimmed, but there is nothing attractive about man being prettier than his girlfriend.

I'm far from perfecting the gentleman style, but I at least practice the craft. I recommend other male readers do the same. Follow some of the tips below and be like McQueen.

• Learn to make a cocktail 
• Save Money and Shop Smart 
• Take care of your body and mind  
• Educate yourself , expand your views, and know the marketplace 
• “Don't forget who you are and where you come from.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald

 

 

Genuinely Interested in Other People

I'm currently reading Dale Carnegie's fantastic book, How to Win Friends & Influence People. For over 75 years this book has been heralded as a one of the best books to lead people in any industry to success. I completely agree. The foresight provided by the stories are incalculable. So, in this post I decided to share one of my favorite stories. If you enjoy the story, purchase the book. You will not be disappointed.

It was Thanksgiving Day and Martin Ginsberg was a 10-year old in a welfare ward of a city hospital. He was scheduled to undergo major orthopedic surgery the next day. He knew he could only look forward to months of confinement, convalescence and pain. His father was dead; his mother and himself lived alone in a small apartment and were on welfare. His mother was unable to visit Martin that day in the hospital.

As the day went on, he became overwhelmed with the feeling of loneliness, despair and fear. He knew his mother was home alone worrying about Martin. She did not have anyone to be with nor anyone to eat with. She also did not have enough money to afford a Thanksgiving Day dinner.

The tears welled up in Martin's eyes and he stuck his head under a pillow and pulled the covers over it. He cried silently so much that his body racked with pain. But then a young student nurse heard Martin crying and went over to visit him. She took the covers off Martin's face and started wiping his tears. She told Martin how lonely she was, having to work that day and not being able to be with her family. She asked Martin whether he would have dinner with her. She then brought two trays of food: sliced turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce and ice cream for dessert. She talked to him and tried to calm his fears. Even though she was scheduled to go off duty at 4 p.m., she stayed on her own time until almost 11 p.m. She played games with Martin, she talked to him and stayed with him until he finally fell asleep.

 Many Thanksgivings have come and gone since Martin was ten, but he never forgets that particular one and his feelings of frustration, fear, loneliness and the warmth of a stranger that somehow made it all bearable. So, as stated by Dale Carnegie, "If you want others to like you, if you want to develop real friendships, if you want to help others at the same time as you help yourself, keep this principle in mind: Become genuinely interested in other people.

Why We Love to Watch the Game

Since the 2013 Super Bowl, 31 NFL players have been arrested. One NFL player is awaiting trial for a murder charge. Recently, Major League Baseball has accused 20 players of using performance-enhancing drugs. In the National Basketball Association, there is reportedly an increasing amount of drug use and substance abuse. Particularly the NBA players are drinking lean, which is a mix of Sprite and Codeine cough syrup, and is commonly used throughout the NBA season. 

Sports Illustrated recently launched "The Dirty Game," which is a comprehensive look at Oklahoma State University's football program. It is now a big-time program that made a rapid ascent from 11 losing seasons out of 12 years to 10 consecutive winning seasons, including a Big-12 title and a BCS bowl game. Among other things, it is reported that drugs, sex, and academic misconduct were used to re-build the program.

It is no secret and veritably known corruption exist in sports at all levels. Humans are morally imperfect, and so are their institutions. This point was argued by the great German philosopher, Immanuel Kant. Kant once wrote, "out of timber so crooked as that from which man is made, nothing entirely straight can be carved." Meaning, everyone is not honest. Indeed, we are morally imperfect.

So, with a vast amount of corruption surrounding the sports world, why do we still love to watch the games? Do we give a blind eye to the corruption? I believe the answer is no. There is way more to sports than meets the eye. A rare, albeit brief moment, sports provide inspiration. In fact, it was even last night that reminded me why I love watching the NFL. The standing ovation for Peyton Manning was incredible. But there is a more remarkable story most people may not have heard. It is a story of courage, unity, tenaciousness, and love. It is the reason I love sports.

 Summerville, South Carolina is about 30 minutes outside of Charleston, South Carolina. It is where my mother and her family grew up. I already have fond memories of this small town, so this story of the 2007-08 Summerville High School basketball team is even more inspiring to tell.

 In June 2007, an enormous fire broke out at a sofa store in Charleston and ultimately killed nine firefighters, which one of them was Louis Mulkey, the head basketball coach for Summerville High School. The team used Mulkey's death as an inspiration. The team went on to a 24-3 season and ultimately winning the 4A State Championship. The team was led by the future NFL star and University of Georgia standout, A.J. Green. But my brief description of the heartening story does not bring justice to the actual events. Outside the Lines provided outstanding coverage of the story and I highly recommend watching it. 

So in a world where corruption exist at every level of every institution, it is important to remind ourselves of stories such as the Summerville High School basketball team. Stories such as this remind us that even if humans are imperfect, we show glimpses of inspiration and enchantment. It is not impossible to bring change. As Tommy Lasorda, the National Baseball Hall of Fame inductee, once said, "The difference between impossible and possible lies in a person's determination." With this determination, the sports world can bring good and remind us fans why we love to watch the game.