I'm currently reading Dale Carnegie's fantastic book, How to Win Friends & Influence People. For over 75 years this book has been heralded as a one of the best books to lead people in any industry to success. I completely agree. The foresight provided by the stories are incalculable. So, in this post I decided to share one of my favorite stories. If you enjoy the story, purchase the book. You will not be disappointed.
It was Thanksgiving Day and Martin Ginsberg was a 10-year old in a welfare ward of a city hospital. He was scheduled to undergo major orthopedic surgery the next day. He knew he could only look forward to months of confinement, convalescence and pain. His father was dead; his mother and himself lived alone in a small apartment and were on welfare. His mother was unable to visit Martin that day in the hospital.
As the day went on, he became overwhelmed with the feeling of loneliness, despair and fear. He knew his mother was home alone worrying about Martin. She did not have anyone to be with nor anyone to eat with. She also did not have enough money to afford a Thanksgiving Day dinner.
The tears welled up in Martin's eyes and he stuck his head under a pillow and pulled the covers over it. He cried silently so much that his body racked with pain. But then a young student nurse heard Martin crying and went over to visit him. She took the covers off Martin's face and started wiping his tears. She told Martin how lonely she was, having to work that day and not being able to be with her family. She asked Martin whether he would have dinner with her. She then brought two trays of food: sliced turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce and ice cream for dessert. She talked to him and tried to calm his fears. Even though she was scheduled to go off duty at 4 p.m., she stayed on her own time until almost 11 p.m. She played games with Martin, she talked to him and stayed with him until he finally fell asleep.
Many Thanksgivings have come and gone since Martin was ten, but he never forgets that particular one and his feelings of frustration, fear, loneliness and the warmth of a stranger that somehow made it all bearable. So, as stated by Dale Carnegie, "If you want others to like you, if you want to develop real friendships, if you want to help others at the same time as you help yourself, keep this principle in mind: Become genuinely interested in other people.
Since the 2013 Super Bowl, 31 NFL players have been arrested. One NFL player is awaiting trial for a murder charge. Recently, Major League Baseball has accused 20 players of using performance-enhancing drugs. In the National Basketball Association, there is reportedly an increasing amount of drug use and substance abuse. Particularly the NBA players are drinking lean, which is a mix of Sprite and Codeine cough syrup, and is commonly used throughout the NBA season.
Sports Illustrated recently launched "The Dirty Game," which is a comprehensive look at Oklahoma State University's football program. It is now a big-time program that made a rapid ascent from 11 losing seasons out of 12 years to 10 consecutive winning seasons, including a Big-12 title and a BCS bowl game. Among other things, it is reported that drugs, sex, and academic misconduct were used to re-build the program.
It is no secret and veritably known corruption exist in sports at all levels. Humans are morally imperfect, and so are their institutions. This point was argued by the great German philosopher, Immanuel Kant. Kant once wrote, "out of timber so crooked as that from which man is made, nothing entirely straight can be carved." Meaning, everyone is not honest. Indeed, we are morally imperfect.
So, with a vast amount of corruption surrounding the sports world, why do we still love to watch the games? Do we give a blind eye to the corruption? I believe the answer is no. There is way more to sports than meets the eye. A rare, albeit brief moment, sports provide inspiration. In fact, it was even last night that reminded me why I love watching the NFL. The standing ovation for Peyton Manning was incredible. But there is a more remarkable story most people may not have heard. It is a story of courage, unity, tenaciousness, and love. It is the reason I love sports.
Summerville, South Carolina is about 30 minutes outside of Charleston, South Carolina. It is where my mother and her family grew up. I already have fond memories of this small town, so this story of the 2007-08 Summerville High School basketball team is even more inspiring to tell.
In June 2007, an enormous fire broke out at a sofa store in Charleston and ultimately killed nine firefighters, which one of them was Louis Mulkey, the head basketball coach for Summerville High School. The team used Mulkey's death as an inspiration. The team went on to a 24-3 season and ultimately winning the 4A State Championship. The team was led by the future NFL star and University of Georgia standout, A.J. Green. But my brief description of the heartening story does not bring justice to the actual events. Outside the Lines provided outstanding coverage of the story and I highly recommend watching it.
So in a world where corruption exist at every level of every institution, it is important to remind ourselves of stories such as the Summerville High School basketball team. Stories such as this remind us that even if humans are imperfect, we show glimpses of inspiration and enchantment. It is not impossible to bring change. As Tommy Lasorda, the National Baseball Hall of Fame inductee, once said, "The difference between impossible and possible lies in a person's determination." With this determination, the sports world can bring good and remind us fans why we love to watch the game.
He was a quite kid. He stayed home a lot and read comic books. He often played with his dog and kept to himself. His mother could never tell what her son was thinking. But inside this quite introvert was a novice, but tenacious, athlete waiting for his moment to defeat all odds.
His ambitiousness was demonstrated on the rarest of occasions. For example, before every school day, he would walk with his siblings to the bus stop, but after the school bus pulled up and all the kids got on, he would stay behind. Dumbfounded, all the other kids would beckon him to get onto the bus, but he refused.
Instead, as the bus pulled away, he would tighten up his shoe laces and run directly behind the bus. It did not matter if it was raining or snowing, he practiced this routine every school day. All the other kids thought he was nuts, but he did it because he did not want to be like the other kids. He did it to be different. He did it to defy the norm. So when people told Sugar Ray Leonard he could not be world-champion boxer, that he was nuts for thinking he could be the best, he laced up his boxing gloves and defied the odds again. The kid that was a quite introvert became a thundering six-time world-boxing champion.
New York Times journalist, Thomas L. Friedman, once said, "Pessimists are usually right and optimists are usually wrong but all the great changes have been accomplished by optimists." Coinciding with my previous blog post, majority of people meet hardships in his or her life, but our outlook on how to overcome these obstacles and oppositions determine our character. Now pessimists may be right 99.9% of the time, but could you imagine if the great leaders of the world quit once he or she had a tough break? We wouldn't have the Sugar Ray Leonards of the world that continued to be optimistic after reaching these hardships. There must be a sense of optimism in the established goals. So in a sense, courage plus optimism leads to success. And if you're not convinced, here are a few more examples:
- Marilyn Monroe's first contract with Columbia Pictures expired because it told her she was not pretty or talented enough to be an actress.
- R.H. Macy had a history of failing businesses, including a flopped Macy’s in NYC. But Macy kept up the hard work and ended up with the biggest department store in the world.
- Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” Several more of his businesses failed before the premiere of his movie Snow White.
- Albert Einstein did not speak until age four and did not read until age seven. His teachers labeled him “slow” and “mentally handicapped.” But Einstein just had a different way of thinking.
- Dr. Seuss' first book was rejected by 27 different publishers. He’s now the most popular children’s book author ever.
- Henry Ford's first auto company went out of business. He abandoned a second because of a fight and a third went downhill because of declining sales.
Finally, for all the Harry Potter fans....
- J.K. Rowling was unemployed, divorced and raising a daughter on Social Security while writing the first Harry Potter novel.
"When he was sever-years old, his family was forced out of their home and off their farm. Like other boys his age, he was expected to work to help support the family.
When he was nine, his mother died. At the age off 22, the company he worked for went bankrupt and he lost his job.
At 23, he ran for state legislature in a field of 13 candidates. He came in eighth.
At 24, he borrowed money to start a business with a friend. By the end of the year, the business failed. The local sheriff seized his possessions to pay off his debt. His partner soon died, penniless, and he assumed his partner's share of debt as well. He spent the next several years of his life paying it off.
At 25, he ran for state legislature again. This time he won.
At 26, he was engaged to be married. But his fiancee died before the wedding. The next year he plunged into a depression and suffered a nervous breakdown.
At 29, he sought to become the speaker of the state legislature. He was defeated.
At 34, he campaigned for a U.S. congressional seat, representing his district. He lost.
At 35, he ran for Congress again. This time he won. He went to Washington and did a good job.
At 39, when his term ended, he was out of a job again. There was a one-term limit rule in his party.
At 40, he tried to get a job as commissioner of the General Land Office. He was rejected.
At 45, he was one of the contenders for the vice-presidential nomination at his party's national convention. He lost.
At 49, he ran for the same U.S. Senate seat a second time. And for the second time, he lost.
Two years later, at the age of 51, after a lifetime of failure, disappointment and loss (and still relatively unknown outside of his home state of Illinois), Abraham Lincoln was elected the sixteenth president of the United States."
I discovered this story in Lead with a Story by Paul Smith. It is an incredible book. Over a 100 stories are shared in the book to help business men and women alike learn to craft business narratives that captivate, convince, and inspire action. This particular story about Abraham Lincoln jumped out at me in an inspirative fashion. Here's why.
For me personally, it has been a troubling few months. I am working as an intern and at a local grocery store to pay the bills while also studying for the GRE. Hopefully after this next week, I will receive a good score and start business school in the spring. Some may say I was on a wrong track after leaving law school. In fact, I personally thought the same thing at first. I found myself scrubbing dishes on Friday and Saturday nights to get cash to buy food.
If it wasn't for my gracious parents, I would have been in an even worse situation. But I am resilient. As told in the story of Lincoln, our entire lives we will battle obstacles. So even if I do not pass the GRE, I will get right back up and try again.
I know my goals, which remind me of something the prolific speaker, Sir Winston Churchill, once said, "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." So, because I cannot control outside forces that deliver obstacles, but only my attitude towards how these obstacles will affect me, my true test is the courage to continue. And this test seems much more cardinal than any standardized test.
